Teenage Behavior
The other day I met my neighbor, who is a parent of two teen boys and a teen girl. He seemed utterly devastated and blamed his condition all on his teenage kids. The oldest teen, he told me, had met an accident with the car. The teen girl, who is the second youngest, had been out the whole night and was dropped home totally drunk by a guy who, in my neighbor’s words, sent chills in his spine. The youngest kid, was thirteen and was diagnosed with an STD that my neighbor did not elaborate.
Most people, I would say, complain more than they should and easily lay the blame on the kids. Right from the time a kid is born, the parents put him to bed in a separate room so that their own sleep or privacy is not disturbed. When the kid turns about two, the parents already start complaining about the tantrums at two. By the time the kids grow to pre teen age, the parents quite often are already divorced and leave the kids with the partner they divorce – as if to wash their own hands from the responsibilities. When the kids become teenagers, a fresh round of complaints against them starts all over again.
The unfortunate part is, few parents understand the significance of devoting time and love to the children right from the day the kid comes into this world. The parents, in order to maintain their own schedule, do not hesitate a bit to leave the kids to a day care from where they are picked up when the parents return home in the evening. Since everyone is a hard worker, few people have time, if any, to spend with the kids playing with or talking to them. Now, imagine telling the parents to do something for the kids when the parents are all so tired and engrossed in their own world of work and keeping the household afloat! The parents, most often, would not put up their best behavior.
Teenage, as we all know, is a phase of turbulence. We have all been through it and our kids would too. The hormonal changes in a teen’s body are beyond his or her control. These hormonal changes, and the stress of all that is going around in the world of a teen, can leave a teen girl or a teen boy all confused with one’s own self. When the parents, in such circumstances, expect the teenagers to behave a certain way, the teens would most likely be defiant – not because they do not like the parents or the advice, but because of their own situation which they may not even be aware of. When the parents insist, the situation becomes even more explosive.
Therefore, if we analyze the teen behavior, the parents might often find themselves the perpetrators of the good or the bad behavior of the teens. Unfortunately, even though the parents and the teen kids love and need each other, they end up parting ways because of the misunderstandings that neither of them try to address. The responsibility of bridging the gaps is more of the parents.
Just like the parents should understand the dilemma of the teenage kids, the teens should try to understand the perplexed world of the parents which is easier said than done. But unless, there is a concerted effort from at least one side, the explosive situation in a home of teenage kids is not going to come under control. Neither the teens would like to do anything by force and nor would the parents like to listen to any threats. The solution is to understand mutually and have the trust which can only build up with time. Therefore, do not leave out the chance of bonding with the children when they are small and as you see them grow up. You might need to have both parents working, but you should also factor in the adverse impact being away from the kids would have on your family in the long run.
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